Vasya awoke in the morning. There was nothing to do. He got deducted from the institute, and still can not find a job. He walked to computer, even did not washed his face and lit a cigarette. His soul was desiring something special. It is necessary for it to get more live action. Maybe I can find something interesting for myself in Internet? Some point to hold for and find.
When he entered webpage where he was managing with his e-mails, he payed attention for ad — What you see is what you get! - was saying the ad. Vasya clicked on the banner. The interesting walk through Moscow suburbs is waiting for you! You will see what you want to see. In his goodwill power God gives us what we always desired. God? Oh yes, it is really necessary to baptise in some time, thought Vasya. But it is all about clerical fables I think, but maybe finally there are something? So we got an interesting trip through the Moscow suburbs with the proposal to get what my soul is desiring to see. Maybe I should risk this time. Because I`m just decaying here at permanent place in Moscow and do not know what the rest of the world is. What is beyound our urbanistic circle.
Outside the house the spring began spread its colorful wings. The sparrows were twitting. He got a joyful feeling of wait in his soul — he already did not managed to move outside his home for a long time. Well, it is necessary to move to Retchnoy vokzal at first, then it is nessary to find a bus number 666. Some dark forebodings were near to rise inside. But it will be all right, he thought. Soon I will be out of town, will entertain myself, find some new views outside our city. When he passed on a street he heard the fragment of a song — if you are in Moscow never speak about holy things … why nobody likes our Moscow? Is proverb about that all is good, where we are not present, is right?
Oops, so I got to Retchnoy vokzal and see the correct bus. Vasya looked at the sky — the distorted clouds suddenly ran across it and sun like turned on its place very quickly, so even it was hard to notice. Excuse me, he said, is it right place where «what you see is what you get» starts? He asked bus driver. Oh yes, close enough, the driver answered. So when should we go? Soon.
Vasya got in, he saw already enough people there and then he decided to sat down near the unshaven man with a gray hair in his beard. The man looked at Vasya and slightly grinned.
So you also go there? He asked.
Where all where and I, said Vasya elusively.
My name is Zhenia, said the man, and stretched his hand. Vasya shook his hand. Well, maybe you are also have nothing to do? Oh yes, there times, when you are really have nothing to do. But I am artist in some view. Vasya remembered lyrics of one poet, named Orlusha when he propose young ladies not to make friendship with strange people and not to read Murakami at once. There were some link in this synthesis explained in verses. But he friendly smiled to this strange «artist at some view» with gray hair in the beard. So you search for nature views to paint? Need some fresh impressions?
The bus mooved off. Vasya noticed that the sun suddenly turned in its place again and it is again was hard to catch, it was all too quick. He also saw that a big crow in black spectacles was sitting on a shoulder of a driver.
Why there is a crow on a shoulder of a driver, he asked the artist. The crow is tour guide. Vasya felt himself a little surprised.
The bus began to go faster and soon they got outside the city. Vasya managed to notice a billboard with the words Goodbye and Welcome!
It is strange but I can not recognise the Russian landscape here, it is something not too familiar, thought Vasya. The trip has begun, said the crow, all you need is to relax and have fun.
Outside the window Vasya saw four people (the bus became to go very slow like some old wagon). One of them was sitting in the chair. A round table was standing near and a woman in white headscarf was leaning against it. On her head a book was situated. Beetween man and woman some cleric in black robe was standing. And somebody in long clothing with kitchen funnel on his head was ready to pierce the head of a sitting man with some sharp medical instrument. Now we see The Surgery of Stupidity croaked the crow. We see that charlatans use the ignorance of other people. The man with the kitchen funnel on a head is a medic — charlatan. He tries to pull out a stone of stupidity from the head of his patient, but it is well known that this stone never existed. The closed book on a head of woman also means sillyness — and we may wonder why this woman does not try to stop charlatan? And cleric also is not in a hurry to explain something, telling some reasons to that poor man because maybe he is of sort of obscurantists, who also prefer to rule ignorant people.
Vasya saw that big fishes and some half-broken boats began to fly in the sky. He remembered about submarines in the Ukraine plains …
One of the big fishes has tiny legs like grasshoppers have and on her spine it carries somebody in a black robe. Some town was in fire in a distance. Right under the nose some bird was walking wearing a funnel on its head. It has curved beak in which it was carrying some piece of paper, maybe letter. It was going on a man-like small legs. Right near under the bridge, over which three persons were carrying another, were sitting some tiny freaks and were discussing something. Passengers could see a hut, which entrance was made in a view of human ass. Also there were a fish, who was moving using wheels. The fish was holding another fish in its mouth. And there were only a rest of tail visible. Now, through our window we can see Temptations of Saint Anthony in action proclaimed the guide. We hope that you enjoy our trip. They can hear some rustle — and it can be possibly the sound of conflagration. Everything was sparkling and dancing. Some old man in robe was talking with the big head without a body, but with a thin legs. The head was covered by black turban and it was sitting on some ruins. The old man held out the steel bowl to the head and for some reasons was blessing the head. Somewhere near a bunch of persons stood and towards them a maniac crew was running. The crew was covered by naked branches and they were armed by sharp spikes. They were also carrying a big pork carcass after them. In front of them small dogs were running, and the commander of all this attack was a monster with a long ugly tongue which was stuck from his mouth. But the persons does not pay a notice for this horrible crew still. They are maybe just had a junket. One lady had enough drink even till she became looking like a plaster statue. Arab brought small woman on a tablet. Somebody with a duck head already went on orbit, so he even does not notice the white owl sitting on his head. The guide crow joyfully explained what was happening. Life of a righteous man is very hard as you can see. There is no need in another proof. Deep in the ruins on the cross was hanging little Jesus Christ, and near the cross He also stood Himself, but alive, in clothing and more in size. The cleric with a mouse head wearing eyeglasses who was dressed in a rotted cloak was reading a book. Some dreadful tree with a human face was lulling a baby. In a distance, on the edge of a bridge a naked figure was standing, and it was not long for it to jump down. Possibly he or she already had enough. So where is Anthony? Vasya saw melancholical old man with a beard. He was holding a book and a walking stick in his hands.
Everything around was proceeded with dancing, hunting for each other, jumping up and down, escaping and running somewhere. The bus went on slowly trailing among all this mess, and the crow starts speaking about real religious feelings and the true believers. Vasya saw a huge giant, who was going through the river. The water hardly reaches his ankles. He got stave, and a baby with a halo over his head was sitting on a back of giant. Now you see saint Christopher, a fish is attached to his stave. The fish is an old symbol of Jesus Christ and Christianity generally. Cristopher was calm as he was walking and landscape around him seem to become more clear of a macabre dance. Somewhere under feet the tiny monsters was long to shoot giant from tiny bows, also they were waving by small steel hammers in their hands. The old man Anthony still sat melancholically does not paying much attention on what was around him. His eyes were sad and grief. He was looking somewhere through and away. Some hand for some reason with a long claw appeared from the river near Anthony.
The landscape view was starting to change somehow. They hardly noticed that the evening already came, but that was true. They saw that somebody with a horns on a head was flying across the evening sky. Now you see Lucifer, commented crow. But the earth still suffers the same way. Big rats were eating a fallen crusader, who lost his banner. The bus went round big knife, which was lying on a road. The huge ears themselves without any help were walking around. The monsters were rushing many naked people in order to hurry them somewhere. A naked woman was crawling around and an ugly demon was ruling her, sitting on her spine. Beside the knifes and strange old instruments there were a lot of musical stuff big and small, which the bus has to go around. Everything was filled with a screaming, whistling and bubbling. Vasya noticed that many people here had the arrows stuck in their asses...
The guide crow was explaining something, he was croaking and laughing. Then he suddenly said that the trip is over. They made a circle and came back to the evening Moscow at Retchnoy vokzal.
So what are thinking about the trip, said artist at some view Zhenia to Vasya.
It looks like crap, I hardly can consider it is beyond Moscow.
So you just pulled the necessary word after all, it is really crap at some view … but I travel often this way …
Allright, you got something wrong with you head if you like to see all this, thought Vasya … but maybe I also should go again one time there?