Аннотация: The Sketch about awarding a specialist in water problems
The Sketch about awarding a specialist in water problems
In a large Far East city there was a flood.
At the peak moment, the central media for some reason modestly kept silent about the development of events. But during the initial period and after the beginning of the water decline, nevertheless, they made reports.
The event is complex and is making a sounding in the media.
A big boss came to the Far Eastern city.
Among other things, the visiting program includes the awarding.
This flood is not the first. About half a year ago, there was a risk of a great flooding. And not only the risk of gradual flooding of large territories, but also the risk of the passing of a powerful high wave towards a neighboring powerful country.
Very helped at that time by a specialist in water problems.
At first he was convincing everyone that incident (the spontaneous dam which blocked the river) occurred very far from settlements, that it is impossible to deliver equipment there, that to organize effective works in those edges (remote from settlements and roads) (moreover and in a frost) - it is unreal.
Later, when - despite all his efforts and consultations (and he was willingly given the green light by all media - both regional and central) - the works were started, he began to sing songs to a new tune.
It turns out (this is his opinion) that the river was blocked by a spontaneous dam as a result of a 'landslide'. And those works that were started to unblock the river, and to create an artificial canal in the dam, those works are very dangerous. A new landslide may come down.
He personally visited the scene, examined everything. He makes a scientific report. The new landslide is very probable, is very real and is very dangerous.
What should be done after such a consultation? To stop the work? Logically arguing, it turns out that the work is very dangerous for those who perform it ... And it explains not a regular visitor of a wine store and beer, but - SPECIALIST! EXPERT! "OFFICIAL EXPLANATIONS"!
However, despite all the efforts of the "expert on water problems" the work wasn't stopped. And it became clear that events are moving to success. "Specialist" began to perform new "scientific chants".
No sense in the channel, even if it is created. The channel will be clogged with fragments of ice and trees. The dam (the remains of dam), despite the canal, will prop up, will impede the flow of the river. Floods and all sorts of unpleasant consequences are inevitable.
The canal was not clogged with ice or trees.
One night, the dam collapsed, the width of the channel increased several times.
No floods and no trouble happened... (Although on this river, one way or another, floods (and landslides) occur, and without any spontaneous dams).
Now a new - a real - flood has begun and the large city has been flooded. The time has come to reward a specialist in water issues. It's time to give the award.
Oddly enough, the award to the 'specialist' was similar to those Ministry medals by which the people - who created the artificial canal in the spontaneous dam - were awarded.
(Medals are excellent. But why weren 't the state awards (medals, orders) given to people who performed unique, complex, dangerous, unparalleled work in 30-40 degree frost? Why weren 't given the State Premiums for performers and real scientists who designed (made the projects of) the works directly on the spot in real time? Why not to fulfil the assignment of next more high military ranks, the promotion? Maybe the "Apple" dance ("Яблочко", танец) is necessary? - to perform it? Or something else is needed?).
The awarding of "specialist" was made on the second floor of a large official building. On the ground floor - because of the flood - not comme il faut.
Everything was very solemn. The medal was attached to his jacket. And even a photo of the awarding was posted on the Internet.
After the ceremony, the "specialist" left the official building. His reputation had not yet been inflated to such an extent that a helicopter was allocated for him.
On the streets laid sandbags - so that the inhabitants could move through a streets covered with water (here is the flood!).
It's not very convenient to walk upon sandbags ... And the rewarding is a joyful event ...
In General, the specialist fell into the water...
But - nothing terrible...
The city (slightly) drowned, but the medal not drowned...
"Experts" are very caring ...
September 15, 2019 00:01
Translation from Russian into English: September 15, 2019 23:51.
Владимир Владимирович Залесский 'Скетч о награждении специалиста по водным проблемам'.