Аннотация: Along the elephant there were marching through the streets. A story
Along the elephant there were marching through the streets. A story
The bull terrier comes to an important reception room.
They say to him:
- 'The elephant recommended of you. We invite you to serve our media.'
- 'Yes... my life already is joyful ...'
- 'We will pay you well.'
- 'I live freely, marking myself as a great businessman.'
- 'We will pay you very well!'
- 'I am keen on sport. Why do I need a headache?'
- 'We will pay you very, very well.'
- 'Actually, I'm a patriot. I'll invest a money somewhere ... By the way ... They say that the summer cottages are not bad? Yes, and cheap?'
- 'We will find you an interesting option. Let's say half a house and half a land plot. The second half belongs to the woman from the cultural association. There are many members in this association ... Some people breathe fresh, slightly discharged (of low density) air, others work in positions of responsibility in law enforcement structures ... It will be useful for you to adapt to our new realities ...'
- 'I don't understand why I need an association ...'
- 'The association is needed not by you, but by her. At first, you will be told a couple of times about this association ... They will prepare, so to speak, you for the situation ... So, that you could to understand the context ... And then, little later, they will demand that you transfer the real estate ... Why, somebody may say, from you? You are not married ... Somebody may say, you is lonely man... To whom do you want to leave your property as an inheritance?'
- 'By the way, I would like to get married.'
- 'For us, nothing is impossible. But let's not get distracted. Well. You will be informed about the association, its numerousness and the capabilities of its members, and you are required to give (to transfer) your property. What are you going to do?'
- 'After all, the house will be in ownership of two owners. If it is necessary for me, - as an option, - to give my land plot, then, logically, I can lay claim to the kitchen - the one that belongs to the neighbors. In response, I will invite them to consider this option ...'
- 'After that they will tell you: 'To whom you plan to leave your property as an inheritance ?' - They will hint that the problem is becoming urgent ...'
- 'I don't understand ... Whether you offer me to serve your media system? Should I reflect on the problem of attempts to seize real estate?'
- 'You must be adapted to our reality.'
- 'But this is some kind of muddy situation. Why do I need her?'
- 'Don't worry, it won't happen right away. No. Do you have any elderly relatives?'
- 'Let's suppose ...'
- "You live.... Maybe, you are renting out this half of the house and half of the common land plot. Meanwhile, they will break the fence, which is dividing the land on your's and the neighboring's halves. What is written in your purchase documents? "In accordance ... with the established procedure (order) of use?" The established order of use is determined by the fence?"
- 'The location of the fence determines the established order of usage of land plot.'
- Okay ... You will not say to somebody about a broken fence? Firstly, it is a meaningless waste of time. Secondly, the neighbors claiming your land will put forward the idea that the tenants broke the fence. Have you seen the (personal) documents of the tenants?
- 'It's possible to look ...'
- 'They are by chance not citizens of our neighboring countries?'
- 'Who knows? If they are using ... and they are paying ...'
- 'Do not worry! When they leave, you will have to pay not a small debt (utility costs) after and instead of them ... But this is in the future .. Let's get back to the fence, which is broken and taken out ... Will you declare, inform about the fence?'
- 'So, the arrows will be thrown into the tenants - the charges (accusations) will be directed at tenants ... And in general it makes no sense ... Any option is a nervous variant and a time-consuming one. It is clear that people (fans of other people's property) have experience and they work according to proven algorithms ...'
- 'Well, here ... So, you have elderly relatives. You say you live somewhere. You look after an elderly relative ... And in your half of the house there are a tenants. The fence dividing the land plot is broken. No fence is now. But you are existing.'
- 'The sum of arguments seems to be correct.'
- 'So, if your elderly relative dies, in this moment the gas could turned off - away from your half of the house - which you rent out to tenants?'
- "Why is it, with the cold air at street minus five degrees Celsius need to turn off the gas? Heating is from a gas boiler, and food needs to be cooked on a gas stove."
- 'Actually, there is no need to turn it off. A repairs could be carried out, if necessary. The cost of repairs could be included in your receipt. Even if they shut off the gas for 30 minutes, then this is not a problem ... But you will only learn about this painless scheme a year or two after this whole situation.'
- 'In a year or two?'
- 'Yes ... a pregnant woman (your neighbors are numerous) has discovered a gas leak. She is alarmed. She summoned, whom is necessary. The gas was turned off. Your tenants are calling you in a panic. And in your house lies the body of a deceased relative.'
- 'Wait a minute. I have two questions. The first. Why do tenants call me by phone? Why the repair was not completed without the need for my presence, and I did not see the amount for the repair in the receipt at the scheduled time (a variant, when the money for the repairs would take from neighbors who informed about the "emergency situation", I'm not considering. I'm willing to pay). The cost of repairs is a millions?'
- 'About a thousand rubles, including the cost of spare parts (valves, faucets).'
- 'So ... Secondly, how did the fans of other people's real estate find out that I had an elderly relative, and that he died, AND HE IS NOT BURIED (DURING THIS PERIOD)?'
- 'There are some algorithms ... Let's not go into details ...'
- 'It is clear that there are secrets in any business ... But I can to understand some things. For example. The tenants are in a panic. It's cold outside. It is necessary to provide heating. Plus it would be nice to cook on a gas stove, take a shower (a water is heating also from the gas boiler). And earlier there were explanations about the association, its capabilities, the requirements on transfer the real estate. The broken fence was ... That is, it's necessary to rush, go, find out ... there is a pregnant woman ... scandal ... threats to a pregnant woman? (they'll sprinkle by a unprintable words, by a unprintable insults, as it often happened, to create a mood?) ... a call ... a good people are arriving... and a relative is not buried, yet ... the situation will be bad ...'
- 'You understand that a media figure must have a practical, creative experience!'
- 'And if I don't go? If the tenants somehow will live a day or two ... And later will be found some ways out of the situation? A using a gas bottle, for example. Etc.?'
- 'Then will be a honorable attitude to you in a local circles'.
- 'What for a honorable attitude?'
- 'About fifty meters from your house there will be five days a car with the headlights switched on. To make visible everything nearby. Who is sitting in this car - it's not visible. The tinted glass. A lighting is required. - If, suddenly, you still decide on some decisive steps. You, for example, will take a newspaper with an article on the activities of an organized criminal community and will drop this newspaper in the mailbox of your neighbors - owners of a half of the house? Will you meet a problem near the mailbox?'
- 'So what? Five days they will stand ... That is, the car will stand ... With the headlights switched on ... And then what?'
- 'Little later, one of neighbors (not very close one) - you have no acquaintance with him - will put a spotlights to illuminate his yard. But these spotlights will be of such power and will be so directed that your house will be as if under beautifull Sun ...'
- 'Let's say my house under good Sun. But such a bright lighting, nevertheless, disturbs many. A year will shine ... And then?..'
- 'You, as a leader in the media sphere, should have a good knowledge of foreign languages. Say: do you learn foreign languages?'
- 'Sometimes I glance in a dictionary. I use an automatic translators from foreign languages. Also - a personal knowledge.'
- 'Progressive people, who is placing own writings on the Internet, often learn foreign languages at night.'
- "What a night learning?"
- 'Suppose you are sleeping. You wake up in the middle of the night and find and listen some faint, obscure, barely audible, chaotic disharmonious sound in low tones.'
- 'Maybe a something sounds somewhere?'
- 'You open a door or window. You is sticking your head out of the room, to outside, and you not find such a sounding.'
- 'So what is it?'
- 'This is a teaching foreign languages. At night. A process of teaching for those who publish various works on the Internet.'
- 'Yes. This is a good creative experience."
- 'We think so too.'
- 'But since you plan to pay me good money, I'll, better, buy a villa - in the Italy.'
- 'To you, of course, as a media figure, there will be less trust after such action. What kind of talk about patriotism, if a villa is located in the Italy? Why not to buy here?.. And there are some rumors... Or about a residence permit (abroad). Or almost about the second citizenship ... But we will endure ...'
- 'If you are so positive about me ... and, in addition, there are conditions for a (new) marriage... then I probably agree. As I understand it, it's better to marry here, than abroad ... People abroad can be demanding and scandalous ... A budget pumping of personal relationships will not hurt ...'
- 'For us, nothing is impossible.'
- 'Question agreed.'
- 'Okay. It's agreed.'
October 29, 2019 13:23
Translation from Russian into English: October 31, 2019 14:11.
Владимир Владимирович Залесский 'По улицам слона водили. Рассказ'.