Status: Complete Think 2016 is the worst possible US presidential election ever? Think again! ;-) President Lex Luthor is running for his second term in office, when the Joker decides to run against him. Will Luthor's politically savvy but morally bankrupt campaign win against the Joker's political inexperience, insanity, and pledge to "Make America Laugh Again"? ;-)
Status: Complete In a drab, dreary, deadly place like Arkham Asylum, a fella has to make his own fun. Luckily for The Joker, fun tends to come to him. Warnings for some very strong themes, some language and some offensive epithets used.
Status: Complete They say it takes a real man to fill in for his female partner when she's unable to attend a SWA meeting. Looks like the Seireitei is full of 'real men', and Nanao is not amused.
Status: Active Light Yagami tries his hand at a normal relationship, unfortunately for Naomi Misora he's been taking lessons from her Myspace stalkers.
Status: Complete Complete - Ran and Shinichi arrive at the Tendo dojo with a problem that only one Saotome Ranma can fix. Now if only the residents would LISTEN to them...
Status: Active NC "DEATH" AT chap. 15! The Tarot Pack is either a neat psychological tool, or it offers genuine portals to the world of The Other, or it's a good way for plausible bluffers like me to earn 20 quid a reading. Or it could be about Discworld characters...NOW WITH MINOR ARCANA! (building slowly but surely.)
Status: Active A Moral and Uplifting Tale of Witches, Watchmen, Palace Inhabitants, Music, Hysteria, Hip-dancing, Blackmail, Black Leather, and several Violations of Ankh Morpork Laws & Ordinances. (FINI)
Status: Active Death has some unexpected visitors, and it seems a war for the omnipotent, wish-granting Holy Grail is about to begin...but what puzzles Death the most is: why are there always chessboards? And how does the little horsey move?
Status: Complete Set just before 'Thud', Lord Vetinari pays a visit to Sir Reynold's Art Gallery to see the amazing new exhibit he's heard so much about...
Status: Active Many people have called Gendo Ikari a bad parent throughout the years. However, that's just the product of cultural chauvinism. If you judge him by saiyan standards, his behaviour becomes much more reasonable. A tale of giant robots, punching, and heterodox standards of good parenting.
Status: Active Many people have called Gendo Ikari a bad parent throughout the years. However, that's just the product of cultural chauvinism. If you judge him by saiyan standards, his behaviour becomes much more reasonable. A tale of giant robots, punching, and heterodox standards of good parenting.
Status: Complete Yes, back for more! This time Gendo Ikari takes over the writing chores and gives you, the reader, his humble advice yeah, right on how not to write SI! It wasn't me, honest!
Status: Active Louise had been hoping for a dragon or a manticore. But instead she summoned a raven with a gem on its breast. A raven that seemed to have a lot of tricks up its sleeve. And so her decent into the dark world of power, politics, and annoying youkai that help in the most irritating way possible. At least she has a bird that can level cities to back her up.
Status: Complete For years, the similarities between Lutecia Alphine and Servant Rider have been noted, and for years they have left the masses confused. Now... now, an explanation has finally been found. It involves, as all great explanations do, vodka. Lots of vodka. (Co-written with RadiantBeam)
Status: Active Death has some unexpected visitors, and it seems a war for the omnipotent, wish-granting Holy Grail is about to begin...but what puzzles Death the most is: why are there always chessboards? And how does the little horsey move?
Status: Complete The dark truth about Sakura Matou has been revealed, and the question has been asked: should she live, or die? Only a true hero could make such a painful choice, but... sadly, none were available.
Status: Complete Returning home after a long battle, the girl known to the world at large only as 'King Arthur' seeks naught but a brief respite from her troubles. Alas, circumstances rarely cooperate...
Status: Complete Of course, some would say that they weren't very good plans in the first place. Spoilers for UBW and HF. Archer x Rin, mentions of other pairings that disturb Archer greatly.
Status: Active Me and some friends were discussing Godzilla and some politically incorrect comments were made and so there was nothing for it but for me to write a politically incorrect story about it. If you want a serious story, please move on. If you want a funny satire of Godzilla stomping Tokyo, read on.
Status: Complete WARNING! Do not read this fic. EVER! Gratuitous juvenile crude humour inside. Also bad language, and other sundry naughtiness. Your better off reading something else. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! So don't blame me if you hate it. Further warnings inside. 08/07/2012- The horror is finished. COMPLETE!
Status: Complete In Harry's sixth year professor Dumbledore decides to move the Mirror of Erised to a new hiding place. After accidentally causing the Mirror to fall down a staircase weird things start happening at Hogwarts. AU.
Status: Active Here's a Harry that... has normal male nightmares, wasn't abused by his Uncle, can't cook, hates being called 'pup', did NOT try to commit suicide, doesn't stutter when Sirius is mentioned, sure as hell isn't the Heir to the founders and Merlin, doesn't ow
Status: Active A Memorable History of Magic, comprising all the parts you can remember from Binns and Bagshot, including 103 Goblin Rebellions, 5 Chocolate Frog Cards, and 2 Genuine Facts. A companion piece to "Magical Me," inspired by my 'Map of Magical Europe.'
Status: Active Not all Animagi have blatant disrespect for the law. The Floo Operator of Arctic Fires has an appointment with his government- one that could lead just about anywhere...
Status: Complete Book 4 showed Voldemort giving Wormtail a fully-functional silver arm. So why would a certain paranoid old wizard settle for a mere wooden peg leg? AU GoF One-shot.
Status: Complete Alternate universe where a Harry Potter with no confidence or self-esteem arrives at Hogwarts in 1991. Highlights of some of the key moments of the autumn term of 1991. Characters and events which diverge from canon. Punctuation corrections, 2nd October, 2014.
Status: Active The Daily Prophet has introduced a new opinion column to replace Rita Skeeter's. Minister Fudge claims it's just a publicity stunt, but many have already written to You-Know-Who for all kinds of advice.
Status: Complete Many have criticized Albus Dumbledore for not taking adequate steps to undermine Tom Riddle's plays for power, rein in Severus Snape's behavior toward Gryffindors, and see to Harry Potter's welfare... but what if that was the point? 'It is in this revolutionary sense alone, gentlemen, that I vote in favor...' (Manipulative!Dumbledore. Oneshot. Crackfic.)
Status: Active Harry's Wand just can't seem to make up its mind on who it belongs to... resulting in a world where Gilderoy Lockhart stops Pomona Sprout from ruining Albus Dumbledore's chances of killing Lord Voldemort. Humor one-shot.
Status: Complete Harry and Hermione decide to make a soul bond, despite not really knowing what they are doing. Horlarity ensues (portmanteau of "Horror" and "Hilarity"). This short story is not to be taken seriously.
Status: Complete The Hogwarts staff gather in the Headmaster's office after the first couple of weeks of classes to discuss their students. McGonagall isn't feeling very Gryffindorish, Flitwick feels mischievious, Quirrell is disturbed, and Snape is sulking. Oh dear...
Status: Complete Tom Riddle, age 16, visits the Chamber of Secrets one night to consult the basilisk on a most important matter: his brand-new, Very Scary new name.
Status: Complete Harry had suspected that Vernon had a few skeletons in his closet, but hadn't thought they'd be anything like this. While Petunia did her best to hide the fact that she had a sister, Vernon did his best to hide the elder Mr. and Mrs. Dursley.
Status: Complete Everything that ever went wrong in Vernon Dursley's life was the fault of those freaks. Especially The Freak, his nephew. But finally, Vernon will have some peace. Won't he?
Status: Complete This is it. The summer where Harry is no longer the world's pinata... the only problem is, the young man can't quite get what he's expecting from a young junior auror named Tonks. Parody/Romance/Humor.
Status: Active 8th in the series. Voldemort interprets the prophecy in an odd manner, and tries to talk Harry out of it. The others in this series are referred to.
Status: Complete Having two Sacred Gears is GREAT! Well, other than a not so minor problem called [Gamer's Mind]. A completely steady mind is a very, very horrifying thing, particularly for a pervert.
Status: Active Bilbo Baggins, gentle-hobbit of Hobbiton-across-the-Water, and Midoriya Izuku, quirkless kid in a world where most people have superpowers, woke up in each other's figurative shoes one fine morning. The two worlds would never be the same. (Also available on AO3 and Spacebattles. Expect weekly updates)
Status: Complete For years, the similarities between Lutecia Alphine and Servant Rider have been noted, and for years they have left the masses confused. Now... now, an explanation has finally been found. It involves, as all great explanations do, vodka. Lots of vodka. (Co-written with RadiantBeam)
Status: Complete Having two Sacred Gears is GREAT! Well, other than a not so minor problem called [Gamer's Mind]. A completely steady mind is a very, very horrifying thing, particularly for a pervert.
Status: Active A requested guide to some of the more esoteric (and nasty) elements of the Premiseverse, from the viewpoint of the ever calm and polite Admiral Ahern. Set just prior to Ahern taking over 5th Fleet. Will be expanded based on feedback.
Status: Complete Short OC comedy. Acerbic erotic movie director Jon Freeman is in a bit of a pickle. He is tasked with creating Call of Booty, the most ambitious and expensive porn flick in Fornax's history. Can he and his long-suffering elcor producer Xantar deliver the goods or will they end up with their own private parts in orbit around Illium?
Status: Complete Tali'Zorah is many things; a technological prodigy, a highly capable fighter and she also happens to be arachnophobic to her very core. This is my take on how she acquired that fear. EDIT: I remembered Garrus also has issues with spiders so I added a short sequel (for want of a better term). EDIT 2: After an excellent reviewer suggestion Wrex's perspective is now up. EDIT 3: Javik!
Status: Complete The Command Team of the Normandy SR2 are sick of Joker's pranks. They make up a list of 182 things that Joker is no longer allowed to do.
Status: Active Bilbo Baggins, gentle-hobbit of Hobbiton-across-the-Water, and Midoriya Izuku, quirkless kid in a world where most people have superpowers, woke up in each other's figurative shoes one fine morning. The two worlds would never be the same. (Also available on AO3 and Spacebattles. Expect weekly updates)
Status: Complete Weird question, right? But that is exactly the question Hachiman Hikigaya found himself asking when one Konata Izumi suddenly, for some reason, decided to talk to him one day. Could they be moe? Konata certainly thought so. Hachiman, not so much. Episodic crossover AU wherein the two are classmates and have weird conversations. Enjoy if you can
Status: Active When being sent back in time you take certain things for granted. For example, you know all of your friends and comrades (and probably your enemies too) inside and out. Nothing about them can take you by surprise. So when Kakashi goes back in time in order to save the world, he certainly wasn't expecting all of this. Humor, craziness, and a dash of drama go hand in hand!
Status: Active Join me as I attempt to write the greatest Naruto fan ficiton ever! Of course, it would be easier if the protagonist did not know he was in a fan fiction and refused to cooperate
Status: Complete LightningHunter's Parody of fics we hate. Parody of badly written fics, high school fics, selfinserts, male pregnancies, people who can't write summaries, and unoriginality. Mrated for a lot of language. Chapter 2! Also features LightningHunter's flames!
Status: Complete 'Is the only reason that you and everyone else in the goddamn village have been asking me these questions because everyone else is either dead, insane, or hiding in some godforsaken cave?' Rated T for language, slight NaruIno. One-shot. RE-DONE/EDITED
Status: Active In which Itachi and Satsuki have a beautifully codependent sibling relationship, Gaara is a stalker with a crush, Naruko trolls, and Shisui and Sakura despair at the state of the people they call their friends. Non-massacre AU, always-a-girl!Gaara, Satsuki, & Naruko. Mostly crack-ish.
Status: Active Because really, there was only one person in the world of Naruto who would ever think that smashing the very fabric of time over his knee like a wooden stick was a good idea.
Status: Complete Sakura, Sai and Akatsuki centric crack fic. Akatsuki are getting just a bit sick of finding pink haired medic nins chained up in their dungeons, not that anyone ever asks their opinion. And things only get weirder when Sai shows up to the rescue.
Status: Complete As we all know, Akatsuki are misunderstood little angels who never really meant to hurt anyone. A crack fic where they see the light and end up twice as frightening anyway.
Status: Complete Naruto wants to share his favorite food with Ino, but she refuses, citing diets, disgust and general loathing. However, this leads to an education for Ino on the joy of ramen and its significance for Naruto. NaruIno
Status: Active Hiruzen had a great idea after the Kyuubi's rampage. He continued to have great ideas after Orochimaru's defection and even Danzo's insistence and the Uchiha's slaughter. Naruto Uzumaki would not grow alone, and if along the way other shinobi would not grow alone too...who ever said Shinobi had to be twisted and solitary individuals? No! What they need...was a family.
Status: Active Make Love, not War! Naruto displays the value of these words as a baby, whether he wanted too or not. Now the world will be subjected to a different Path to Peace, one the Rikudo Sennin had hoped would forever remain lost and buried in the shards of history.
Status: Active A series of short stories of the exactly 1K variety dealing with Naruto hooking up with anyone and everyone. Evil, good, old, young, male, female - it doesn't matter... well, except the male option - only one of those just to be funny... hopefully...
Status: Complete In which Sarutobi Hiruzen makes some very bad decisions while sick with the flu, and Shimura Danzo has to run damage control. "While I agree that a supervising mission for a four-year-old's birthday party that includes all sixteen of her little friends from preschool is a bloody nightmare, it doesn't require the use of ANBU or judicious application of force as needed."
Status: Complete One day, Hiruzen has a brilliant idea. "Danzo, how would you like to be the leader of an autonomous but officially unsanctioned branch of ANBU that I can secretly use to root out traitors and dissent?" Danzo is not pleased with being dragged into this latest scheme. "Why do all your brilliant ideas make me look like an evil reprobate?" (Litter of Misfits)
Status: Complete Post-series. Upon making Chuunin, Naruto and Co are called into Tsunade's office to hear some startling news: Naruto is secretly a girl. And apparently a lesbian. And no, she's still not in love with Sasuke. And why does no one ever tell her these things?
Status: Complete The part of being a jounin-sensei that no one talks about is having to handle genin paperwork. If Hiruzen had known that having genin would increase his piles of personal hell, then he would have jumped out the window before anyone could assign him any.
Status: Complete Naruto time travel is a common theme, but we only ever see what happens to canon!Naruto when he time travels. What about all the Naruto from Alternate Timelines? Makes fun of multiple pairings het, slash, and femslash. Humor, satire, parody. for Corselli
Status: Complete Though it may take a village to raise a child, that doesn't mean they're doing it right... a look at the childhoods of Team Gai and the Rookie 9.
Status: Complete It's only a devil fruit ability, he reminds himself. Nothing beside the monstrosity cupped between all her palms. That could wipe out everyone on the island. Genfic
Status: Complete In which Maya finally explains to Pearl that she and Phoenix are never going to get married and live happily ever after. Phoenix agrees... until she gets to the 'why' part.
Status: Active What happens when Weiss Schnee doesn't understand the intricacies of slang, puns, and innuendos? All sorts of awkward and unusual situations. Written as an entry for RWBY Writing Prompt Wednesday #85.
Status: Complete Ruby Rose discovered the boundaries of her new world early on. Then, she learned how to break them. Imagine how this looked to everyone else. [Set mid-season 1, twist on Gamer-style nonsense. Updated Saturdays.]
Status: Complete It always seemed really suspicious to me how easily Team RWBY and Team JNPR managed to get paired up with extremely compatible partners despite how random the team selections actually were. This is my short theory to how the teams were actually created.
Status: Complete No one understood Blake. No one understood the secrets of her past. No one understood just how to make her feel better. No one knew the key to her heart. No one... except him. Even if he didn't realize it at the time. Cover art by Imyoshi.
Status: Active Pyrrha has a secret. Something about her that none of the teachers know, and as far as she's concerned they never should know. But when Ozpin asks her to take on a role that can only be filled by a true maiden, will she have to tell the truth?
Status: Complete A predator stalks the night! A killer, moving through the darkness like a living shadow! A creature of stealth, of shadows, striking at his victims without mercy... ...if it wasn't for this one little problem he's having with his target profile.
Status: Complete He failed again. Ozpin stared out through his office window at the now burning kingdom of Vale. Ozpin, Headmaster of Beacon academy, the man who had made more mistakes than any man, woman, and child now stood at the culmination of all his mistakes watching the same 'finale' he had witnessed countless times before.
Status: Complete Complete - Ran and Shinichi arrive at the Tendo dojo with a problem that only one Saotome Ranma can fix. Now if only the residents would LISTEN to them...
Status: Complete Ranma encounters a magic lamp and, through no fault of his own, experiences visions of married life with his suitors...and anyone else who looks him in the eye.
He's WHAT! by The Other Side of Darkness Humor/Romance
Status: Complete After the failed wedding Ranma's life seems to getting more and more bleak, he just seems to give up on all hope to ever be happy. Then one day he finds someone who loves him for who he is and nothing that he wants... Wait... HE! I dare ya ta read it.
Status: Complete [Story Completed] Many people write fanfiction which touched on the seppuku pact, and how the pact only retains importance as long as Ranma is willing to go through with it. Nabiki saw the contract in a new light.
Status: Complete [Story Complete] The true reason Genma was cursed to turn into a panda. A very short story on the nature of Jhusenkyou's curses. Please comment
Status: Complete The most unlikely hero imaginable inadvertently saves the galaxy from evil dominion and oppression. And Luke thought it had to be hard... ROTJ ends just a bit differently.
Status: Active Louise had been hoping for a dragon or a manticore. But instead she summoned a raven with a gem on its breast. A raven that seemed to have a lot of tricks up its sleeve. And so her decent into the dark world of power, politics, and annoying youkai that help in the most irritating way possible. At least she has a bird that can level cities to back her up.
Status: Complete (OR: Waiting for Eiki) It's not often that Komachi gets a fare as talkative as Reimu. If only the shrine maiden would just *stay dead*...
Status: Complete In which Patchouli learns that Marisa sucks at metaphors and never cleans her cottage, but has surprisingly nuanced opinions on immortality.
Status: Active The battle at Wrathgate is about to commence, however the Lich King doesn't feel like fighting. A story of epic battles, harrowing adventures, and retcons that make the whole thing completely pointless. Chapter 8 is up. Humor fic.
Status: Active More randomness from the person with a realy warped brain. Ever wondered what a Noncodex chapter gets upto when not trying to kill Traitors and Monsters? well wonder no more!
Status: Active The conflict of ships in space takes second place to the conflict of personalities between Captain Pondsworth and Commissar Griggs. Pondsworth and Griggs Saga: Story 1
Status: Complete Which came first, the story or the hero? How are Fables born? Frau Totenkinder knows and if you ask her very politely she might tell you. Allusions to Bigby/Snow.
Status: Complete Weird question, right? But that is exactly the question Hachiman Hikigaya found himself asking when one Konata Izumi suddenly, for some reason, decided to talk to him one day. Could they be moe? Konata certainly thought so. Hachiman, not so much. Episodic crossover AU wherein the two are classmates and have weird conversations. Enjoy if you can
Status: Active After seeing the bottom of one too many bottles of things normally served in quite small glasses, Zel got An Idea. The kind that always seems brilliant at the time, but later leads to much agonized wondering of what evil demon possessed you.
Status: Complete [Kenny centric] By the fourth time he'd died, the novelty had worn off. If this was all some joke, it was obviously being pulled off by someone who was both easily amused and had way too much time on his hands.
Status: Complete Ever struck by how great some units are at standing firm, even after loosing 95% of their troops? Excellent morale and all that, sure, but one does wonder... A little humour.
Status: Complete A meeting of the twentyseven dead apostle ancestors gone awry. Couple uses of the fbomb, one or two other swears, but aside from that, totally tame.
Status: Complete Maybe you're wondering how the convoluted events of Xenoblade Chronicles X came to be. Maybe, like me, you're searching for the truth. About human nature. About identity, about religion, about everything. This story is completely unrelated. Rated T for meanie words. AND SPOILERS.