Аннотация: Небольшой эксперимент в освоении сложных предложений на английском языке перед экзаменом. Чего зря добру пропадать, забавно получилось - этакая история любви.
The girl of much desire
She always tells me the truth; however, I don't pay much attention to her wise words. It all began thirteen years ago. Before I start, I should mention that I don't regret anything, or resent this whole situation. I just live my life as nothing happened. She is a girl who you like when you see her the first time, or maybe not. So difficult to say. She is a girl, and she is beautiful. She is a girl and a cute person. Can't you see?
So let's get started. After I had sent some messages to my male friends having asked them to get me some girls' contacts they had in their contact lists, I got a response from a guy. He had two girls in stock because he was younger and more handsome than me. I didn't have any contacts at the time. So, I said that I'd had a pleasure to have these girls numbers. He answered that these girls were extremely strange, and I should be careful with them. I told him I would.
Although I like to chat with people, I haven't had a lot of practice chatting with girls, or I thought so. The first girl was a disaster: she was extremely rude, bitterly disappointing and just a bad guy. Screw her. However, the second girl turned out to be an interesting chat partner. She always listened to what I say, even though I had been typing some crap to her; if I only knew what comes next, I would be prepared...
I didn't know her, and I didn't know where she live, but I knew that she lived in the same city. I didn't know why she answered me. Maybe she was lonely and just wanted to get laid, maybe not. It didn't matter to me. What she had been typing for about six years after this very first connection was of great interested to me. Really, she was great. I'd say I loved to chat with her. I'd say those times were the happiest shit happened to me, even though I didn't pay much attention to what she had been writing me. And boy, oh boy, she was writing as creatively as only a lonely girl with expanded imagination could. Have you ever heard about epistolary genre? That it was. I have been keeping our conversation log since then. It is huge, you know. A long period of time has passed, but I still keep it safe. Aren't me a strange guy?
Back to the story, back to the rails. The story which lies behind our relations isn't so easy to explain. She's the person who gave some brilliant advices and ideas. She was my inspiration. Having her in mind, I was able to crush the mountain ranges in the name of my queen. So inspirational time it was. The lifting she gave me made me better as a person, because I started to do exercises and go running at 5 a.m. She was upset a little by that fact, so do I. I just was keeping up doing my things, she was doing hers, so we had been living our regular lives. We had been writing each other for six years before finally met.
Apples should be picked up after they are ripen, aren't they? So do our relationship's goals. I remember when we had met the first time. It was five o'clock in the evening, and she was working. I met her at her workplace. To be more precise, I met her after her work. She was a decent driver who had a good experience, so we sat in the car and went to the nearest huge mall. The reason to do this was to buy me a pair of glasses. In reality, I didn't need them, but for Christ's sake, what I supposed to say to her? Let's go to walk a little? No way it was possible. I'm not that kind of a guy. So, we went to shopping.
She said that she knew a cheap shop to buy a pair of glasses, and I appreciated it. I said to her that it would be great. She answered to me that I shouldn't worry no more, and that she would do all that right. I asked her if she knew what she were doing. She said me to keep going. It was funny when I jumped aside of her when she got close enough to me. I was afraid of her, or may I say of any girl at the moment. She found it quite funny of me. She said if I'd go to the park tomorrow which was situated not so far from her home, it would be great if I wanted to join her. I enthusiastically assured her of my agreeing.
Long story short, we didn't buy any glasses that day, but the main goal had been achieved. I was walking with her in the park the following day. Isn't it good? You will never know that feeling until you met someone without whom your life is aimless. I met her. I don't know had she ever felt something similar to me, but I feel it right now, even though we has been living separately for a year now.
If she could be less stubborn, she would be a great wife, but she isn't. I lost her respect, I lost everything. If I had more time with her, I would do anything to bring it back. Had I done the things right, she wouldn't have gone away today. My fault? I wish I could know her better, be less egoistic and be more manly. I wish I knew the answers.
Too many wishes, too little ways to improve the situation. She still has been living in the same city, and I do, too. Not so far as it could be. It could be worse. She didn't want to see me, neither do I. She didn't want to go walking anymore, and I didn't either. We just matched. Probably, it could be said that we both are stupid as hell. Probably, it even might be true. Who knows?
It can't be helped at this stage, can it? When something is gone, you just need to pass it away, needn't you? I suppose, taking in consideration all said above, that nothing ever can be changed in the past, even though movies and books declare the opposite. It just can't. It is of much desire to have such a beautiful and inspirational woman such as her near me, but will it do any good to her I am asking. Maybe she is happy now in her crystal castle on the top of the mountain in the deep hinterland?
Only the questions still remain. How do you know that it would be better if you were together? How about the unbreakable laws of nature? How come people must be divided apart after coupling? What about their feelings after all? Why it's so unfair? Whose fault is it? Why do you have to ask so many questions?
I have no answers here, therefore, I just give up thinking of them and give it a break. Thinking back, I can't drop all my thoughts away, even if it lead to abandoning all that matters. I just didn't get if there had been my fault or not? I worked hard, run fast, been exhausted all the time, needed a hand of help, and, consequently, I gave her less attention. Is it a reason to drop me because of my hypothetical absence? But you need to come across the situation anyway, I am thinking. We hadn't even been married. How is it possible that our relationship was broken due mostly to a giant misunderstanding and lack of communication? Does anyone else come through this?
In addition, I know that many women have to choose between both a career and a family, and so does she. Her career was her desire she was pursuing for. In contrast, I was a homeboy with my own cockroaches in the head. We both complemented each other like fire and water.
Speaking of running and sports events, there should be mentioned their influence on the topic, because running is not only demanding and time consuming, but it also is very expensive when you need to get to the event, also this is absolutely boring for those who don't participate in activities, so that sometimes they could wait for four hours long and even more. Who would stand it?
Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining at all, I just wondering what I did wrong and why; otherwise, I wouldn't be writing this text. Writing just helps to fight your fears by putting them on a piece of paper or a byte in hard drive. It's psychological stuff which brings some peace to your soul when you are at the edge of the darkest abyss. On the one hand it is useful, but on the other hand - who cares; furthermore, stripping your mind is a thing not so many people want to do. Only the bravest can do this without further ado, in quiet and shadowed environment. Unless you haven't done this before, it is difficult to do it the first time - to write about your feelings as honest as it possible. Even if you had some experience, it is really hard.
The time is being passed, since both of us getting older, while nothing is changing, and as long as we live apart nothing could be changed unless someone will do the first step. It's not that hard, isn't it? Instead of that, we just write each other a message or two from time to time. Meanwhile, time is passing by as I said, besides, she might have found someone else and haven't told me. Could it be?
Frankly speaking, I suppose, whenever she tells me about family, I just have to memorize her words and do exactly what she wants me to do, instead of this I just saying rubbish or garbage to her like, listen, honey, now that we got separated we can start all from the scratch, what do you think? She gets furious right at this moment. Now that she has got this doggy dog, she pays less attention to my words. This is a problem.
Nevertheless, people, just be obedient to that fact that we are brought to this world as a lonely persons and will go away such wise. All that happened is good for you unless you are dead.