OK, you Russian KGBist
So now I'm really, really pissed.
And why is that? I'll tell you why,
For 20 Years I was a spy,
But not in Russia, like you are,
My target was USSR.
Why me? Why then? Why there? Guess why,
I was the best in FBI.
So here I am. The dirty streets,
and empty shops, and culture beats,
the toilets stank, I couldn't breathe
(and even now that makes me sneeze).
No Coca-cola, no Big Mac,
No junk food, even no forshmak,
Just borsch and salad "Olivier".
I couldn't wear my best Cartier,
I couldn't buy my Tampax there,
I couldn't go to places, where
I was afraid to scream "Oh, Yeah".
But than I met a handsome guy,
His name was Ваня, he was shy,
And smart, and clean, and cute, and good,
he washed his hands when having food,
he knew "to be or not to be"
(Of course he worked for KGB,
I din't know that, I was dumb)
His Englidh speech just made me numb.
And God he was so good in bed,
That I relaxed. And that was bad.
I was so dazzled and so charmed,
that started having sex disarmed.
His chance had come. I was on top,
that was so good, I yelled "Don't stop",
Как вдруг он замер, замолчал,
Kalashnikov из ass достал,
Вздохнул, икнул, подал сигнал,
"Вы арестованы", - сказал.
(И даже penis не упал,
Такой уж профессионал).
(I'm sorry, man, but I've just cried,
and Russian language came in mind).
So he was cool, but I'm the best,
I quickly hit him in the chest.
So he was dead. And I was pissed
Because of climax that I missed.
In sev'ral hours I got back home,
Hello, US, goodbye, Sodom.
That was the end of my career,
But KGB is still my fear.